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12.01.2010

The Truth About Spiders

(In case you don't know, or can't tell, I'm not a big fan of eight-legged creatures).
My pediatrician may be in cahoots with the spiders….  She gave Landon the Itsy Bitsy Spider book at his appointment today.  Now I know the Itsy Bitsy Spider is a classic and has been around for many generations and is innocently sung by children in pre-schools across the country.  However, there are a few serious issues I have with this nursery rhyme.  Firstly, that spider is never itsy bitsy.  Secondly, I think it sounds better if the rhyme ends at “Down came the rain and washed the spider out.”
Another supposed “classic, innocent children’s story” I have issue with, Charlotte’s Web.  Sorry Mom, I know you have tried and tried again to get me to get over my spider-issues by pushing this story on me but it didn’t work out quite right.  I still dislike spiders.  On a good note (I guess) I now think pigs are terrific, radiant and humble.
I mean really though, we all know that Charlotte is a black widow, don't we?  Now what kind of message does it send that the little girl, Fern, is out there in a barn, not just playing with all the farm animals all alone (because her parents obviously don’t support her having a social life and forbid her from having any people friends) but hanging around with a deadly black widow spider?  I don’t care what lies this story spreads, I personally know that the black widows in my life aren’t weaving any intelligent words in the webs I see.  I gave them a chance, I waited, and nada.  Needless to say, I’m no Fern Arable, and that scary, not so Itsy Bitsy, black spider that WAS in my garage was no Charlotte. 

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