Will you be my friend?

There's this little issue that I have experienced at various times over the years but find that it is just getting more serious the more that I move around and as I get older... Its something that military people definitely will understand as well as anyone else who frequently transplants themselves to new cities/towns.  I'm talking about the increasing awkwardness of making friends as an adult.
I was getting lunch at a restaurant today with Landon and started talking to a women who said she has a 7 month old little boy.  We chatted while we waited for our food and I wanted to ask her if she wanted to get the kids together sometime or if she wanted to join me and some other moms for a girl's night out. I found myself stuck in that strange place of wanting to be friends with someone new but feeling like I was about to ask them out on a date.
Anyone who has experienced this is already laughing right now as they relive those moments where they met someone somewhere somehow and started talking and thought "I like this person, we could hang out" but then there is that inevitable "umm... do you want to maybe get together sometime?" 
How lame do you feel?  It's like being back in junior high. What if they say "no, that's alright..." or what if, even more awkward, they think you are hitting on them (definitely a big consideration when I lived in San Francisco and even Denver).
In fact, that reminds me of a funny story about my cousin (sorry cous...).  My female cousin and I were out in Denver one night at a neighborhood bar just hanging out and talking to people and being friendly when this girl, Rose, introduces herself and starts talking to us.  My cousin (slightly tipsy and feeling friendly) responds enthusiastically and is excited that girl's name is Rose because that happens to be my cousins middle name. It was obvious to me that Rose was a lesbian but that was really no big deal. She was nice and fun and  we are always up for new friends. It was all good and innocent except my cousin (who might be a little naive on some of these matters) was being her normal friendly, slightly flirty, "two drinks- touchy feely" self.  We all hung out for a little bit then the bartender yelled out last call and we started to get ready to go.  Rose took the opportunity to ask my cousin if she wanted to hang out some other time.  My cousin, excited for a new friend since we had both recently moved to the city said of course! They exchanged numbers and we were on our way.
Well a few nights later my cousin calls me to see if I want to meet up with her and go out downtown (these were my single days- we went out a lot).  She tells me that Rose called her and they are going to go have a couple drinks and then she can meet up with me.

me: Oh really? Rose seemed like fun.  Where are you going to meet her at?  Can I just meet you two somewhere and we can all go out from there?
cousin: umm she wants me to meet her at this hotel downtown
me: a hotel?
cousin: no they have this really cool bar on the top floor I guess.  She said it has a pretty view. It should be cool!

(Now, there are  a few things I know about rooftop hotel bars, they have easy access to hotel rooms and they aren't the place that you meet up with a friend to pre-game before you go out on the town.)

me: does Rose think this is a date?
cousin: what? no! why would she think that?
me:  I don't know.  Maybe she missed the part where you were talking about all those guys the other night?
cousin: no she just wants to hang out.  She doesn't know many people I guess. She seemed fun though so why not?
me: true.  ok well go and I'll meet you in a little bit.

So about two hours later I'm getting off the elevator at the hotel and walking into a restaurant/bar that overlooks downtown Denver that is filled with business people at the bar and couples at candlelit tables along the windows.  I spot my cousin and Rose sitting together at their romantic couple-intended table. (I hold back my laughter.)
Rose who is all of 4'10" with uber short dark spiky hair is wearing a white button down, slacks, black "work boot" shoes and dramatic eye makeup and is looking a little nervous. She seems surprised to see me there and as soon as I sit down I realize she wasn't informed of the plans for the night and now thinks I am crashing her date and invading her turf.
After managing to casually mention that my cousin is my cousin and therefore family (and relieving Rose's worry that I'm stealing her date) I realize that my very straight cousin is still oblivious that she is on a date with a girl, and that Rose, even though my cousin has been talking about the guy she just broke up with, is still oblivious that my cousin is very much into men.
In an attempt to get everyone out of the inevitble awkward, I convince them that we should all go out to another bar.  Less than an hour later, as we are getting dragged into a country bar and my cousin ran into the arms of one her boyfriends, Rose finally admitted that her dream date was not happening and when my cousin's guy pointed out what was obvious to everyone else but my cousin, she finally admitted that her new girl friend thought she was going to be a girlfriend. Oopsies!

slight regression...

Jason left this morning for his re-train which will have him living in bfe Texas for the next 6 months.  I fully expected to get a little teary eyed when we said our good-byes and even though I was feeling a little down for the rest of the day. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of holding it together... but then I finally sat down tonight and looked around.  I realized that in the 10 hours I that I thought I was doing a good job, I might have been having a slight meltdown...
My living room has a giant pile of clean clothes that I started to fold but stopped after only getting through 5 of Landon's pants and shirts. There is also a pile of fabric scraps from the new curtains that I decided to make and hang on the new curtain rod at the top of the 10 foot tall windows (that I also installed this afternoon while standing on a board on a bucket on a chair because we don't have a ladder...). There's a stack of notebooks that I have been randomly taking notes in for my classes and while I have started 4 different reading assignments, I only have 3 sentences worth of notes. After some playtime and dinner for Landon, I realized I hadn't eaten anything today other than  a couple pretzels, a small handful of Landon's baby food puffs, and a few (maybe half a bag...) of Peppridge Farm cookies.  I decided that since my diet had obviously already been shot for the day, that ordering a pizza wouldn't be the end of the world.  I justified this decision with the fact that I had actually managed to successfully get the dishes done, put the ironing board away, and bandage my wounds from the fight I lost with the drill and curtain brackets.
Just to aid in cushioning my guilt with my poor nutritional choices, I decided to go with the thin crust, add some chicken instead of pepperoni, white sauce instead of marinara, and of course spinach (for something resembling a serving of vegetables).  After turning on the porch light and then yelling at the Domino's online order tracker  "'Mike' prep my order and get it in the GD oven already" I only had to wait 15 minutes before the creeper delivery guy was ringing the bell.  And yes, he did ring the bell, making the dog bark, and temporarily disrupting the bebe's sleep even though there is clearly a sign over said bell that politely and specifically says not to ring it.  I decided to base his tip strictly on his literacy level and not on his speediness or his compliments on the stairs that lead to my back yard (yes, he did....).
The pizza decision was justified when I added hot sauce to the mix, thus burning some extra calories and literally making me hot which means we get to the lower thermostat and save on the energy bill.  bonus!

Nutrition Common (?) Sense

One of my classes this semester is a nutrition course.  I just finised up a discussion board about healthy eating habits and realized that maybe all the articles and diet information I've read over the years has made it into my brain somewhere. Thought I'd share my words of nutritional wisdom just in case it helps someone else too:

-Detox/Break the craving.  I find that when I eat unhealthy snacks, I crave/want them more often.  So when I find myself in a routine of grabbing processed sweets instead of fruits to satisfy my sweet tooth, I start a “mini-detox” to “reprogram.”  For a week (or a few days-no hard set rules in my life, just whatever works) I eat more bland (light seasoning, no sugar, no butter) and drink only water (no soda or juice- try seltzer water with lemon or lime or a small splash of cranberry juice if tap water isn’t cutting it for you).  It is hard to get through the first couple days but after that it’s much easier and I actually find myself turned-off when I see junky foods. 

-Prepack meals/snacks. Invest in some Tupperware or plastic baggies and take a little bit of time each week to portion out snacks.  Look at the nutrition labels and make little 100 calorie baggies of popcorn or pretzels so that when you are craving it, you know how much you are getting and don’t just grab the entire bag.  You can do this with fruit and veggies too.  Portion out carrots, apple slices, grapes, etc. Also, if you find you are having a hard time feeling full/satisfied after snacks and meals, try adding more protein rich foods (apples with a small scoop of peanut butter might keep you from reaching for the candy better than just an apple alone).

-As I said above, just get rid of the temptation.   Don’t buy the foods that you don’t want to eat and do buy the healthy options. If someone else is doing the grocery shopping in your house, go to the store with them and try to influence better choices. If you go to the fridge and cabinets when you come home and don’t have the cookies staring you down, it won’t even be an option to give in to them.  When you go to the grocery store you should spend most of your time shopping the outer perimeter (where the produce and fresh foods are) and before long you won’t even think twice about skipping the chip and cookies aisle. 

-Once you are practicing better eating habits at home, the family get together and restaurant will be easier too. However, it IS okay to indulge every once in a while.  Some things I do to keep it under control is don’t put as much on your plate. Have the potato salad and eat a hotdog now and then but only have one hotdog and a small scoop of potato salad. If you finish that and are still hungry, you can always go back for seconds. Chances are, if you give it 15 minutes after you eat the first round and are drinking plenty of water with your meals, you won’t feel like you need anymore.  At restaurants, order the burger if you want it but leave the bacon off and portion it out before you dig in.  Decide that you are only going to eat half or opt to split an entree with someone else. If you take the initiative to make better decisions, you might be surprised who else is willing to make the same efforts.

-Last trick, every once in a while I can’t help but give in and get some ice cream. The thing I have stopped doing is sitting in front of the TV holding the entire 4 serving container of Ben and Jerry’s in one hand with a big spoon in the other.  Instead I get a small bowl and a small spoon and eat it slowly.  Using small utensils makes you eat slower and therefore makes it less likely that you will eat more than you want to.

-Know your food.  Don't make assumptions about the nutritional value of foods- actually read the labels you might be surprised what you are putting in your body, or what you are forgetting to.